Raising children together after you split up with their other parent can be a challenging journey. Some adults are able to put their differences aside to co-parent their children. This requires both parents to put their children first.
One of the most difficult things about this type of situation is ensuring that healthy communication is the focus of your co-parenting relationship. Remembering these tips may help you to keep that aspect of co-parenting as low-stress and effective as possible.
Communication should be respectful
All communication between you and your ex should be respectful. It may help if you think of this as a business-like matter. Oftentimes, the challenge that comes is when emotions cause you to react in ways that might not be respectful. Trying to take emotions out of the situation while you’re dealing with your ex may be beneficial. This can also help to keep conversations on track so you can make decisions in the child’s best interests.
Children shouldn’t be relied on to pass messages
You and your ex should always speak directly to each other. Trying to pass messages through the children can lead to points being relayed incorrectly. It may also subject them to harsh reactions that weren’t actually meant for them. If you and your ex can’t speak directly to each other, using other forms of communication, such as emails or texts, may be a viable option.
Badmouthing the other parent should never occur
Neither parent should badmouth the other one. Even if the other parent was a terrible spouse, they can still be a good parent. Any grievances you have with your ex should be addressed with them, if appropriate. If you just need to vent to someone, choose a trusted friend, family member or therapist who won’t repeat the information you provide, and be sure the children aren’t around when you do this.
Having a parenting plan that includes the basic information about how the children will be raised can help to prevent some disputes. Working with a legal representative who can provide assistance to get this together can help to ensure all important concerns – including communication boundaries and expectations – are addressed.
